Only the best lessons
by VersarFfion
Summary: All the best lessons we have at school for our boys 1. Kanda was at this moment beyond disgusted, he was livid, and it was all because of the rancid rat, currently situated in a bag on his desk. AU rate T for Kanda's swearing.


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Summary: -man fun as our boys get to dissect a rat for biology^^

Rated T ~ because Kanda has a dirty mouth ^^

Disclaimer: story would be crap if I owned it, we all know that.

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Kanda was at this moment beyond disgusted, he was livid, and it was all because of the rancid rat, currently situated in a bag on his desk. The revolting creature had the audacity not to flee in fear when he had shot it a spine chilling glare, not that Kanda really cared that it was technically impossible for a deceased rat to move let alone run away, but he still didn't want the thing there, and it was by far to disgusting to actually touch the thing to move it, hence why he had settled on a glare.

The teacher Mr. Reever had chosen today's Biology lesson to have the class do a rat dissection, even knowing full-well that with this class in particular it would most probably end in chaos, although he had come somewhat prepared, choosing to simply hand the students their rats and booklets, and then swiftly parting company from them for a supposed meeting, leaving the class in the hands of a very distressed looking teacher in training Miranda, god rest her soul.

So now Kanda was faced with a dilemma, he would either have to get on with the work and cease staring at the rat, or face the baka Usagi claiming that he was scared of the stupid creature, because Kanda was most certainly _not _scared of a bloody rat, he just didn't want it near him, simple really. Kanda eventually decided to just get on with the work, opening the booklet to the right page and grabbing the bagged rat. He gave the creature a second glaring stare and then scowled, it was worse than he had thought; the thing was soaked in a yellowy preservative liquid, and looked like it had pissed itself to death.

Opening the bag much against his own wishes Kanda paused, 'fuck' the bloody thing was looking at him, it had its eyes open, and it was defiantly _looking _at him. Scrunching his nose up in an appalled manner at the rats stare, Kanda grabbed a pair of forceps from the dissection kit and grudgingly picked the rat up by it's tail –because he was not going to use his hands, no way- , dropping it unceremoniously onto the cutting board with a squelched thud, which for now would have to do, as Kanda returned to simply glaring death at the unsuspecting rat.

Mean while, much to the distain of his fellow classmates, Lavi was playing with his rats 'lil' paws', making it dance in –at least to Lavi- amusing manner, yes Lavi was having a lot of fun with his rat, which he had chosen to name 'chappy', as he was –quite evidently- a chap, and was now using the rat to plot various means of evil to inflict on his fellow students.

During a momentary pause in his plotting Lavi turned to look at Allen, who seemed completely unfazed by the rat dissection, and had already gotten his rat (who Lavi ha forced him to name Tim) pinned down with most of it's innards removed. Glancing over to enamel dish Lavi decided to see if he could have a little fun with his at the moment rather boring friend.

"Oy Al, bet'ya you carn't eat that rats ball over there" Allen, although not really wanting to entertain Lavi's idea of eating a rats testical, wasn't about to turn down a bet, and simply had no control over the condition response to the bet of "How much?". "what?" Lavi really wasn't expecting an answer to his challenge, and was having trouble processing Allen's answer. "How much do you bet that I won't" Allen, despite the nature of the bet was now smirking, money was money, and there is no way Allen Walker will _ever _lose a bet, it was simply a matter of pride. Lavi now finally having caught on grinned in amusement; this was defiantly worth paying to see "How's about 30 bucks", Allen smiled sweetly "Fine and since there's two that makes it 60 okay?" "erm…kay?" Lavi was feeling somewhat like he'd been had, but right now he didn't really mind, seeing Allen eat a rats balls would be priceless. Allen now egged on by the prospect of money grabbed one of the tooth-pick like implements and skewered the two testicals, cringing at how rubbery they seem to be, most likely due to all of the preservatives the rat contained. Deciding it was better to get the task over with Allen shoved the two testicals into his mouth, thanking god for his ability to eat almost anything, as this was probably the only thing keeping the gag reflex at bay. The rest of the class however, who had unbeknownst to Allen and Lavi stopped to watch the spectacle, were not so lucky, and at least half the class turn green at the sight, four of these dashing out towards the toilets as they heard Allen swallow the offending objects.

Kanda, who had also stopped to watch the spectacle which an expression similar to horror on his face, now turned back to glare at his rat, deciding it would be easier on his stomach to dissect the rat, than continue watching the two idiots. Switching his attention back to the booklet he had been given, Kanda decided that rather than being better on his stomach, it was most likely on-par with the idiots instead, the first line of the booklet consisting of 'break the rats front legs and then nail them onto the board, then repeat the action with the back legs, pinning the rat out in a spread eagle like fashion.' Although at this point Kanda really couldn't be bothered and simply get on with the task, holding in a flinch as he heard the bones of its leg snap.

The task of hammering the first leg to the board was easy enough, but the second foot was another matter, the leg just didn't seem to reach, and Kanda being ho he is took it as the rat fighting back and took it as his personal task to make the rat comply and be bloody well nailed to that board! Although things quickly turned bad when he got to savage and pulled the rats leg _off,_ which of course was followed by much swearing, and the rat and board being thrown with intent towards Lavi's head, it was safe to say that Kanda had taken it as a personal failure not to be able to pin the rat as he stormed out of the class, most probably no to be seen for the rest of the day.

Allen who had successfully dodged the board aimed at Lavi, now looked pointedly at the door which Kanda had just slammed in his little tantrum, "Kanda, a modest person, with much to be modest about." Allen stated with slight annoyance in his voice, although it was not a comment likely to be said if the Japanese was around. "Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with Yuu-chan that reincarnation won't cure." Lavi stated now slightly recovered from the attack by flying rat. "Lavi, if there was anything in that rat I ate and I die, you do realize I'll leave a letter for the police, just a warning" Allen smiled sweetly, although at this point starting to look a little green. "NO!! I can't go to jail, you know what happens to people like me!!" Lavi was now crying fake tears. "Don't worry Lavi you never pick up the soap anyway" Allen smirked.

Had to do a rat dissection today in biology, was so much fun, I managed to gross out all my friends, and even took some pictures ^^

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Anyway here's my second story ever ^^ I'm still not sure about if its any good so pleaz comment, and I'll be happy to make changes to it if you think it needs it, also do you think its good enough to add more chapters of other fun lessons, up to you ^^, and THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! I never was good at English so the writing is probably really rubbish or boring ^^ soz about that.


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